Ted Kennedy will recover, hit winning homer for Sox

It's not like the Red Sox need a 76-year-old U.S. Senator to help their baseball team, either on or off the field. They have purchased a pretty handy team to stick it to the Yankees. They have two cancer survivors (which bests the Patriots, who only have one stroke survivor), and they are trying to tug at more heartstrings by claiming they took a chance on overweight and over-the-hill pitcher Bartolo Colon when no one else wanted him. But when discussing the Red Sox and all their karma and good fortune, you can't help but wonder what Boston native Ted Kennedy, recently diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, could do for their spirits.

My first thought was that he will throw out the first pitch (a perfect strike right down the middle, I might add) at a World Series game, which will be pitched by fellow cancer survivor Jon Lester, and of course won by the Sox. But then I realized that would just be too easy and, frankly, boring.

Kennedy will, in fact, not only miraculously recover from the tumor, but then sign a one-day contract and smack a game-winning home run for Boston. That will turn the last of the unturned stomachs of those who have to endure the Red Sox winning on an almost-daily basis and provide yet another great, inspiring story for ESPN to air to honor one of their beloved Boston teams.

Just wait until the so-called "pennant" race in the AL heats up. You thought being reminded 75 times that Jon Lester is a cancer survivor was annoying. How about when lifelong Bostonian Ted Kennedy finds his way into the mix?